She Ghosted Me, Returned, and Then Ghosted Again: How to Handle the Emotional Rollercoaster

It’s confusing, painful, and honestly exhausting when someone who ghosted you suddenly comes back into your life — only to disappear again. I went through this exact situation last year. First came the hope, then the excitement, and finally the disappointment when she ghosted me again. If you’re wondering, “What do I do when she ghosted me, came back, and then vanished again?” — you’re definitely not the only one. In this post, we’ll talk about what this cycle does to your emotions, how to set boundaries, and the practical steps that helped me regain my peace.

Why Repeated Ghosting Feels Like an Emotional Trap

Being ghosted once hurts. When it happens again after they’ve come back, it can feel like a loop you can’t escape. This repeated ghosting cycle leaves you feeling emotionally drained. You might notice yourself:

• Feeling confused and anxious about their intentions
• Questioning your self-worth and wondering if you did something wrong
• Debating whether to reply, ignore, or block them
• Riding a constant wave of hope and disappointment

From my own experience, the real key isn’t just figuring out why they do it — it’s recognizing how it’s affecting your trust, emotions, and future relationships.

Common Questions People Ask After Repeated Ghosting

Before we get to the steps that helped me, here are some common questions people search when they’re stuck in this painful pattern:

• “She ghosted me, came back, then ghosted again — what does that mean?”
• “How do I handle this without losing myself?”
• “Should I give them another chance?”
• “Why do people come back just to leave again?”

These questions are so common because the situation is so confusing. Most of the time, repeated ghosting is about emotional immaturity, fear of commitment, or avoidance — not your value as a person.

Key Pain Points in the Repeated Ghosting Cycle

Here’s why repeated ghosting feels so destabilizing:

• Emotional exhaustion: Hope followed by rejection takes a toll
• Mixed signals: Their return builds hope, but their disappearance destroys trust
• Self-doubt: You might start questioning yourself
• Boundary struggles: You may feel guilty about protecting your peace
• Anxiety and overthinking: Checking their social media or replaying past conversations

I used to check her Instagram stories every time she ghosted me. Every view gave me a little hope — only to feel crushed again when she didn’t message. That’s when I realized just how harmful this cycle can be for emotional health.

Step 1: Prioritize Your Emotional Health

First, admit to yourself that this is hard — and it’s not your fault. Here’s what worked for me:

• Journaling: Getting my thoughts out on paper helped me process what I was feeling
• Talking to friends or a therapist: Having someone validate your experience gives you clarity
• Self-care routines: Meditation, working out, or even short walks helped calm my mind

Without focusing on emotional healing, you risk letting their behavior control your feelings every time.

Step 2: Recognize the Pattern

Most repeated ghosting has little to do with you. It usually comes from their emotional inconsistency or avoidance. Some common signs:

• They reach out only when it suits them
• They dodge accountability or hard conversations
• They give vague excuses for disappearing

Seeing the pattern clearly helped me detach emotionally. Her ghosting wasn’t a reflection of my worth — it was about her fear of commitment and inability to communicate.

Step 3: Set Firm Boundaries

Boundaries protect you. Without them, repeated ghosting can slowly eat away at your self-confidence. Here’s what helped me:

• Muting or limiting social media so their story views wouldn’t control my emotions
• Deciding how much I was willing to communicate
• Avoiding long emotional conversations until trust was rebuilt
• Clearly communicating my boundaries when they returned

Setting these boundaries gave me back control and stopped the chaos from running my life.

Step 4: Avoid Reacting Out of Emotion

It’s tempting to text right away or confront them after each disappearance. I used to do that — and it only made things worse.

Try this instead:

• Take a pause before replying
• Ask yourself: Am I responding from loneliness, anger, or genuine interest?
• Write a reply but wait before sending — it gives you perspective

Giving myself space helped me make decisions calmly instead of from a place of pain.

Step 5: Focus on Personal Growth

As painful as this cycle is, it’s also a chance to put yourself first.

• Reinvest in hobbies, passions, and friendships
• Set new goals unrelated to the relationship
• Journal your growth and progress

When I turned my focus inward, I felt stronger and more confident. Whether she came back or not no longer determined my happiness.

Step 6: Consider Walking Away if the Pattern Persists

If they keep disappearing after coming back, it’s usually a sign of emotional immaturity or fear of commitment. Staying in that cycle will just keep you stuck.

I gave her two more chances before realizing it wasn’t worth it. Walking away was the healthiest choice I ever made — because it made space for relationships that are built on trust and consistency.

Step 7: Seek Closure on Your Own Terms

Waiting for them to explain can keep you stuck. Instead, try this:

• Write a closure letter — you don’t have to send it
• Reflect on what this experience taught you
• Accept that closure might come from within

Taking control of closure helps you move on without depending on someone who keeps showing you inconsistency.

Step 8: Evaluate Future Interactions Mindfully

If they do come back again, check in with yourself:

• Are their actions actually matching their words?
• Do they respect your boundaries this time?
• Are you engaging because you want to, or just out of habit?

Being mindful reduces the chance of falling into the same emotional trap again.

Step 9: Focus on Personal Growth and Emotional Healing

Repeated ghosting hurts, but it’s also a chance to rebuild your self-worth and emotional balance.

• Try hobbies or projects that bring you joy
• Spend time with friends who make you feel supported
• Practice mindfulness or therapy to manage anxiety

The more I focused on myself instead of her, the less control her ghosting had over me.

Poll: She Ghosted Me, Returned, and Then Ghosted Again — What Would You Do?

Question: If someone ghosted you multiple times, how would you respond?

1. Give them another chance — maybe they’ve changed
2. Proceed with caution — watch their consistency first
3. Ignore them — focus on your peace
4. Ask questions before deciding
5. Block or mute on social media to protect your space

💡 Share your vote and your reason in the comments — your story might help someone else.

FAQ – She Ghosted Me, Returned, and Then Ghosted Again

Q: Should I trust her if she keeps coming back?

A: Be cautious. When she ghosted me, returned, and ghosted again, I felt hopeful but also doubtful. Trust isn’t rebuilt with words — it’s rebuilt through consistent actions.

Q: How long should I wait before replying?

A: Give yourself at least 24–48 hours. I used to respond right away and always regretted it later. That pause helped me reply with a clear head.

Q: Can a relationship survive this?

A: Only if both people are willing to communicate openly and change the pattern. If the ghosting continues, it’s a sign the relationship might not be healthy.

Q: What if she just watches my stories?

A: Social media views don’t equal real effort. I had to remind myself that her views didn’t mean she cared — it just meant she was curious.

Q: Is repeated ghosting a sign of immaturity?

A: Most of the time, yes. It often means the other person struggles with emotional responsibility. Realizing this helps you separate your value from their behavior.

Final Thoughts & Takeaways

Being ghosted, welcomed back, and ghosted again is exhausting. But it can also be the push you need to protect your peace, set boundaries, and grow.

• Prioritize your emotional well-being
• Recognize the pattern instead of blaming yourself
• Set strong boundaries to keep your peace
• Seek closure within yourself
• Choose relationships with consistency and respect

When you focus on yourself first, repeated ghosting loses its power over your happiness.

• emotional healing after ghosting
• relationship trust after ghosting
• repeated ghosting pattern signs

Disclaimer: This post is for informational and emotional support purposes only. Every relationship is unique, and this is not professional legal, medical, or mental health advice. Read our full disclaimer.

Affiliate Disclosure: Some links in this post may be affiliate links. If you make a purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Learn more here.